


The Spider and the Fly

by SeigePhoenix



Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Canon Typical Violence, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Consent, F/M, Light Choking, PLEASE HEED THE TAGS, Partner loss, Rough Sex, Slight Canon Divergence, angst fest, d/s dynamics, no happy ending, not much fluff, past suicide mention, seriously, there is no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-03-17 18:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13664877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeigePhoenix/pseuds/SeigePhoenix
Summary: Guardian Siobhan is sent to Mars to investigate some unusual sightings of Vex.  While there she meets an old face from her past and gets dragged into a tangled web of trouble.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Thanks to Forsaken this story underwent some _major_ rewrites. Which is why it took so long to update. And I received some hate that killed my motivation for the story. I finally got it back and here we are. Warning: this isn't going to end happily. 
> 
> I have a sequel planned that will be happy. So I hope you stick around but it's not going to be happy.

Mars. The red sands and war torn buildings stretched as far as they could see. Arawn studied his Guardian carefully. They’d been through so much in such a short amount of time. Him finding her, the Black Garden, the Reef and their problems, the Taken King, and the SIVA Crisis. That all paled in comparison to the loss of their Light. Siobhan had been the one to bring the fight to Ghaul. She’d refused to sit by while their friends and families were being slaughtered by the Red Legion. It was only two months after what had been dubbed _The Red War_. His optic light looked over at his Guardian. Siobhan looked out at the landscape, watching the Cabal fight endless waves of Vex. Her eyes carefully moved over the Vex, trying to find some sort of pattern. Osiris had pointed out the endless timelines the Vex used to study the other species. He thought back to a few days prior when they’d been summoned by Zavala.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“We’ve had reports on Mars.” Zavala clasped his hands behind his back as he addressed Siobhan. She could tell that whatever had been in those reports had been bad. Especially if they were summoning her. She and Commander Zavala hadn’t exactly been on the greatest of terms because he found her methods to be somewhat questionable. She did what was needed to get the job done, it didn’t matter to her if the Vanguard agreed with every single one of them. Cayde waved his hand and shook his head, bringing her thoughts back to the present.

“Yeah. It doesn’t look good Siobhan. The Vex are starting to look really creepy.” Zavala sighed as Arawn chirped nervously. Creepy? What the heck could that mean?

“What Cayde is trying to say is, the Vex are starting to mimic Hive rather closely. Their movements and fight patterns. There are reports of increased House of Kings activity there as well.” Ikora glanced at the Guardian in front of them. They’d asked so much of her already, she wanted to ask another. Zavala and Cayde had insisted on using Siobhan. Odd, considering how it was only Cayde that got along with Siobhan. Ikora was fond of the Guardian despite her methods. Though, due to the strange nature of the mission, this Guardian would be perfect for it. Her eyes lingered on the collar on Siobhan’s neck but she held her tongue.

“You want me to go investigate.” It wasn’t a question. Zavala nodded. He knew this Hunter understood perfectly the risks of the mission she’d be walking into. It was not her first mission. He saw the bleak look in her eyes and wished it wasn’t their only chance.

“Scout the area Siobhan. See if there is any unusual activity. Do not engage unless you absolutely have to.” The Vanguard knew that Siobhan would do what she wanted to in the end, but there was vain hope she’d adhere to some plan. Cayde knew better. She’d adapt and press on.

“Right. I’ll keep you updated.” Siobhan told them as she turned to Arawn. “Let’s go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arawn turned again and watched as the battle quieted in front of them. The bodies of Cabal and Vex littered the red sands of Mars. “Huh.” He jumped as he heard Siobhan scoff. His glowing orbital light looked over at her, lips thinned as her eyes narrowed at the battlefield.

“That Minotaur. It moved like a Knight.” Arawn jerked around and studied the remnants of the Vex bodies. “Think you can scan it and see if there are any Hive energies on it?”

“If we can get close enough.” His shell fluttered as Siobhan stood from their scouting spot. “We’re going down there aren’t we?” The Hunter nodded with a grin and they jumped off the small ledge. They landed on the sand with barely a sound to give away their position. Silence was something she learned in Oryx’s throne world.

The wind blew grains of sand around her boots, as if trying to pull her away. Her cloak fluttered, the Iron Banner symbol blazoned on it in gold. Siobhan nudged the body of the Minotaur with her boot. Arawn got busy scanning it and she noticed the trembles in his shell. That never meant anything good. She blew out an irritated breath, for once she’d wished that this mission would turn out to be bullshit. It had been just a couple of months since Ghaul’s defeat and the City was still recovering. Her lips thinned as she stared at the landscape, never crossed her mind she’d be back on Mars. Too many memories tugged at her. The bump of the leather around her neck pulled her out from her thoughts as her hand brushed it over her armor.

She remembered the day she got it and the day she got the news he died. At least reports speculated he was dead. Siobhan had gone a little mad, another lost to her. First Emyr and then him. The collar had tormented her day in and day out, she’d been on the verge of throwing it out when the memory of him stalled her. It was the last piece of him she had. She’d put the leather on her neck and wore it whenever she was in the field. A piece of him she could keep with her. Her feelings for him were complicated, no one else understood. She didn’t want to analyze them too much. It had been just sex at first, but it had developed into more. At least on her side, she doubted his feelings had ever changed. So, she kept the collar with her. Only her Fireteam knew she wore it. They didn’t quite approve but understood her need to have something of him close to her. Jareth especially didn’t like it, but he kept his silence on it.

A ripple in the air out of the corner of her vision snapped her back and the sidearm in the palm of her hand. She fired two rapid shots, and the body of the Vandal fell. Three more popped out from their cloaks but stayed their weapons. That wasn’t normal. She scanned their clothing but it didn’t resemble any house she was familiar with.

“Arawn…” Worry threaded her tone as she took a step back. Arawn’s optic narrowed in suspicion.

“I don’t recognize those colors, they look like King colors, but I can’t be sure.” Siobhan jerked in surprise. Skolas immediately came to mind as she prepped for a quick bolt. She had more than her fill of those eliksni. Good cover was just behind her to the right. If she could make it there she had a chance of making it out without the Vandals destroying her. Her heart thundered in her ears as her eyes stayed on the eliksni. Sweat dripped down her back but she couldn’t let the Fallen know the dread was dragging her stomach down.

“They aren’t attacking us.” Siobhan glanced at her Ghost. That didn’t bode well for the two of them. Normally Fallen attacked her on sight, even after rescuing them from being locked in a Vex prison. _I’m still angry about that._

“What do they want?” Siobhan asked as she saw the Vandals talking among themselves. Arawn’s shell quivered as he turned to face her.

“They want to take you to their Kell. They are under strict orders to bring you there unharmed.” Suddenly he burst out with a startled and amused chirp. “They asked if maybe you could be inclined to not kill any more of them.” She fought the urge to chuckle but suspicion had her frowning at them. Nothing made sense out of the entire farce. She knew passable eliksni from Variks. She stepped forward and showed them she put up her weapon.

“ _What does your Kell want with me_?” She could tell the Vandals were taken back by her speaking their language. Good, let that knock them off balance. She watched them converse with one another privately before one turned and stepped forward.

“ _Angry machines are our enemy too. Kell knows you fight them._ ” Siobhan gave an irritated huff but was now faced with a huge decision. She couldn’t risk the Vanguard finding out she went to talk to a Fallen house, she could _hear_ the disapproval from Zavala already. Yet, she couldn’t just abandon her mission yet. Siobhan was conflicted but she had always been one to follow her own path, and not the one the Vanguard laid down for her. Even if it brought her to odds with them. She winced as she remembered the time she went after Osiris. Siobhan looked at Arawn and he already knew what her plans were.

“Send a message to the Vanguard regarding your findings on that Minotaur Arawn. Let them know we’re investigating another lead and we’ll be in touch when there’s a development. But until then? We go dark.” Siobhan saw Arawn struggle with the decision as he knew this wouldn’t meet Vanguard approval. He didn’t necessarily think it was a good idea but knew the Vanguard could possibly let this opportunity pass them by.

“Done.” Arawn told her as he sent the message. Then he shrouded their signal from any Vanguard or Guardians that were actively looking. “Let’s go.”

Siobhan turned to the Vandals and they could see the threat radiating from her body. “If you or your Kell try to kill me? I’ll make it my mission to destroy your entire House. Every Dreg, every Vandal, and every Captain will _not_ be safe from me.” The clicks from the Vandals told her they understood and took her threat seriously.

She followed them to one of the Cabal warships. “Your Kell took a ship from the _Cabal_?” The Vandals glanced at one another, unable to decipher her tone. “That’s pretty impressive.” _And worrying._ She and Arawn both shared the same concern. If the Kell of this house could take a ship from the Cabal, the most militarized force in the galaxy, what else were they capable of? The question was one that repeated itself in her mind as they walked into it.

“Well, into the lion’s den we go.” Arawn mumbled from under her hood. A memory tugged at her mind. Hazy and barely there but she recalled something similar being said but it was from a pre-Golden Age poem. It was frustrating that she couldn’t remember. She felt the chuckle rise in her chest as she followed the Vandals. A few Dregs appeared and reached for her weapons but she shook her head vigorously.

“ _No. They stay_.” The Dreg that had tried clicked in response and one of the Vandals cuffed him on the side of the head with a harsh growl. Siobhan didn’t quite catch what he said but it sounded like _prisoner_ or _guest_. She couldn’t tell which, but that only made her more reluctant to part with her weapons. Luckily she’d told Arawn they were switching from Void to Arc. Just in case.

The hangar had been converted into a throne room. An ostentatious throne room. It was decorated in Reef colors, surprising to Siobhan. She kept her helm on but she did notice one of those crows in the room. The monitoring devices she knew by heart. _Variks is watching. I just wish I knew if he was still an ally._ Since Uldren’s disappearance, Variks had taken over the Crows and the Fallen still left with the Reef. Along with any survivors from the Taken War, along with Petra and more of the Awoken hierarchy that survived. Siobhan walked along the hangar floor, heedless of the Fallen piled along the sides.

“Siobhan. We’re so screwed if this goes south.” Arawn whispered as he eyed the Vandals and Captains watching them.

“Yeah. I get that. You can transmat me out though right?”

“Probably.” Siobhan wanted to groan. Probably didn’t help out the anxious feelings that welled up with all those eliksni eyes burning a hole in her cloak. Arawn shivered against her neck as they paused in front of the throne. Which was empty. _A setup_! Panic surged through her, as her body prepared for fight or flight. Heart racing, Siobhan reached for her weapon, even as her muscles bunched in anticipation of a dodge.

“Will you walk into my parlor little fly?” Siobhan felt her body go still as she heard the voice. Shock stuttered through her and her hands fell away from her sidearm. Her heart pounded in her chest and her eyes widened as he walked into the light. A myriad of emotions welled up inside her at the sight of him.

“Uldren.”


	2. Chapter 2

She couldn’t believe it. He was _alive_ , and apparently took over a Fallen House. Siobhan’s lips thinned as anger, normally slow to burn for her, simmered in her chest. He was alive, and she hadn’t known. Arc energy snapped and crackled around her, electrifying the very air surrounding her. Her anger wasn’t even at him, it was at herself. For thinking, even for a fraction of a second, that she meant more than a quick fuck. The leather that had once comforted now chafed her skin, a constant reminder of her own stupidity, and she fought the urge to claw at it. Rash but she’d never claimed to be a rational person when angry. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he got any other reaction aside from anger. She stepped forward after taking a breath to calm the crackle of arc Light wrapped around her hands.

“Why did you have your Vandals bring me here Uldren?” Siobhan stepped forward, her eyes never leaving his face. Thankful for the helm that would provide a measure of protection. She heard the chirps and rustling of the Fallen behind her, but she couldn’t bring herself to give a damn. She knew the barely restrained eliksni didn’t trust her, and she didn’t trust them. One wrong move and they’d be on her and she wasn’t so sure Arawn could transmat her in time. Siobhan was here on _his_ grace and it chapped her pride to know it. He wore that smirk that was reserved for when he spoke to Guardians or idiots. She still wasn’t convinced he separated the two in his mind, even for her.

“Why else? We both seek a common goal.” He inclined his head to the side. “We’ll speak more in private.”

“You can tell me now or not at all.” Her eyes narrowed as he sighed at her waspish attitude. The look on his face was that of a parent dealing with a tantruming child and it set her teeth on edge. She always felt one step behind him. Hell, she knew he would never think of her as an equal. He strolled over until he stood over her and she cursed her shortness, not for the first time, as her head only reached his shoulder. It forced her to look up at him, something she knew he enjoyed. His eyes held contempt, but she thought there was something else lurking there. _Probably just my imagination hoping there’s something there._

His finger reached up and hooked the metal loop that had slipped out from her under armor. Panic burst in her chest as triumph lit his eyes. _Shit!_ He tugged her closer and she rose onto her toes to avoid being choked. Her lip curled back as a retort waited on the tip of her tongue, bitter with the taste of regret. Her face was only a breath away from his, her calves screaming from the effort of keeping her balanced on her toes. She should’ve felt revulsion but the warmth burning in her belly was not from anger. The heat in her blood wasn’t from fury. Thankful for her helm, which covered her reaction to him.

“Are you certain you still wish this to be public?” His silky voice rolled over her with a shiver. She bit her response back and glared at him, showing him without words how much she hated him. _Liar_. She ignored the whisper at the back of her mind and focused on the protesting muscles of her legs. It was far easier to ignore the fire in her body when she convinced herself it was for anger instead of lust.

“Fine, _your highness_ , I’ll follow you.” Scorn threaded her voice as she met his eyes without fear. She watched his lips curve into a smirk again, and she squashed the memory it brought forth. Of his hands and mouth on her skin. He’d obviously thought little of what had been between them. She had to get her traitorous mind and body under control.

He released the loop, allowing her to rock back on her heels. Siobhan followed him with the chatter of the Fallen nipping at her heels. They reached what could only be his private room, the opulent decorations gave that away. She reached up and pulled off her helm, bright blue eyes glowing with fury. She opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind and was startled into silence when his body slammed into hers. Her fingers curled into his armor as heat simmered under her skin. Trapped between him and the wall, she glared at him despite her body’s desire to curl into him.

“Why do you want me to help you?” She groaned when one of his hands tangled in her hair, tightening to tilt her head towards him. A trill of pleasure speared her belly, this had always been one of her weaknesses. She met his eyes with no fear, no hesitation. Anger and lust warred in her as she waited for his answer, knowing him well enough that he wouldn’t answer until he felt like it. His golden eyes roamed over her face, resting on the collar around her neck. His lips curled into a possessive smile when he saw the black leather against her blue skin. His other hand reached up and stroked the material, softened by age.

“You still wear it.” Siobhan grimaced and tried to avert her face but the hand in her hair prevented it. She glared at him, keeping her lips turned down in a scowl. “Do you still accept the terms?”

“The terms? I thought you were _dead_. It’s been over a year with no word other than rumor and speculation. Our agreement was null and void when I thought you died fighting Oryx.” Siobhan bit off the rest of her tirade before she gave away more than she wanted. She saw the triumph light his eyes and cursed her loose tongue and quick temper. She’d just given him ammunition against her, the defeated groan threatened to escape.

“Ah. Worried for me, were you? And here I thought you had better things to worry about.” Uldren brushed his nose against her cheek, keeping his lips just above her skin. “With Oryx and that nasty business with SIVA, _my lady_.” So much scorn in two words, but she thought there was a hint of pride there too. She shivered as his lips skimmed over her ear, banking the fire in her belly. Her lips trembled apart as need speared through her, her mind may be furious with him, but her body just wanted him. How did he know about SIVA?

“And then, what was his name? Ghaul. Attacking the City, stealing your Light. How _did_ you survive that?” Siobhan tried to pull away as the memories assaulted her, the terror of losing her Light and the struggles to get it back. He saw the genuine fear in her eyes and realized he’d gone too far. He reached out to her with the telepathy that all Awoken had. She jerked back, and he felt her mind slam closed like a prison cell.

“No. I’m not sharing that with you.” Siobhan felt like a scared animal trapped in a corner and she hated it. She hated that helpless feeling that welled up in her chest. The memories were too fresh, too terrifying. Her eyes snapped to his face as his touch gentled.

“It wasn’t easy. The loss of my Light was…” Siobhan struggled to explain. “Like losing part of my soul.” His hand slid from her hair to cup her cheek. Tenderness wasn’t something she was used to from him and she found herself leaning into the touch. It had been so long since she had felt him against her skin. She didn’t realize how touch starved she had been.

“Truly a hardship then.” Uldren leaned in and spoke against her temple. She sucked in a breath as it pressed him against her. Her eyes closed as she savored the quiet moment between them. Even through her armor she could feel him. His voice lacked the normal sarcasm she expected from him, but there was still a disdainful note in it. There was something different about him, but she was too caught up in seeing him again to pinpoint it. After everything he’d been through, surely even he would change. It was enough to pull her back to the present and away from what his body felt.

“What do you want Uldren? It isn’t sex, otherwise we’d already be naked.” Siobhan heard him sigh before he stepped back. She felt the loss of him keenly, but his mask was back in place. She just couldn’t forgive him that easily for not even contacting her at all. Nothing. She’d already grieved once with Emyr, and she’d grieved him. It had almost broken her, the news of his ship going down. He turned away from her and grabbed something off the desk.

“This.” He handed her a sheet of paper that had a sketch of the Traveler’s shard on it. Her head snapped up as she studied him. Why was he interested in that spot of all places?

“How did you get this?” Siobhan looked at him in shock. Uldren dismissed her shock with a flick of his hand. He didn’t have time to bother with her question, not if he was to get what he needed.

“Can you take me there?” Siobhan looked down at the paper again and blew out a breath.

“I can but this won’t go unnoticed. I’ll have to alert the Vanguard about this. Especially since they think you’re dead as well.” Or they’d better think that. To find out they knew he was alive and kept it from her… She didn’t want to think about that.

“No. This doesn’t involve your Vanguard.”

“What? You can’t be serious!” Arawn popped out and fluttered next to him. “You expect us to go off the grid!? Do you know how much trouble we’d get into!? How much trouble we’re already in for going dark to meet you!?” Uldren scoffed and Siobhan sighed, ready to defuse the situation. Uldren didn’t care about the politics of the Tower, but she couldn’t risk everything for him. Not after everything that happened during the war.

“You want my help? Then you need to let us send word to the Vanguard.”

“You are not in charge here Guardian.” Uldren snapped, using her title purposely. Though he never truly used her name which grated her pride. She knew he hated not being in charge, but she would be damned if she’d be at his mercy this time. If he wanted her help, then he needed to accept _her_ terms this time.

“Then we’re done.” Siobhan informed him. Arawn bounced in agitation as they saw the internal struggle flash over his face. He was prepared to transmat his Guardian out of the ship and to the relative safety of Mars in an instant.

“Fine.” Siobhan started. She hadn’t expected him to concede. Arawn hadn’t either, judging by how his shell quivered. Something was serious if Uldren wanted to work with her.

“You’re going to let us send word?”

“There are conditions. It will be you, and you alone that we work with. This does not concern your Tower.” Uldren spoke without looking at her, but she could see how much the concession ate at him. His hand clutched at the desk and she saw the muscles bunch in his jaw. She blew out a breath and rested her cheek in her hand. She’d crossed one arm over her chest as she waited for his answer, this was better than nothing. Though how could an Ahamkara be just Reef matters was beyond her.

“I can live with that. The Vanguard should as well.” Arawn disappeared again after speaking, giving Siobhan some privacy. She looked over at Uldren, who stared at the desk.

“I will help Uldren. As much as I can.” Siobhan told him as she joined him by the desk. “You’d never give in unless it was important. What happened?”

“My sister. It’s the only way to free her.”


	3. Chapter 3

“Wait! Free your sister? How did Mara survive the attack by Oryx? It wiped out an entire fleet!” Siobhan demanded as she scrubbed a hand over her face. As if this mission couldn’t possibly get more complicated. She could sense Arawn’s displeasure through their connection and _knew_ she’d hear it later. Finding out what the hell was going on with the Queen and an Ahamkara, that was a priority. If it could come back to bite them in the ass... Even if that meant working with Uldren again. She dared a glance in his direction and ignored the small burst of heat in her belly at his smirk. As if he knew how her body responded to just a look from him. This tension between them would undoubtedly pose a problem if left unchecked.

“That is on a need-to-know basis.” Siobhan threw up her hands with a disgusted sigh. She hated going into a situation blind, and likely would be this time. She also knew she’d probably be abandoned or betrayed in some way once he’d gotten the information he required. It would be foolish to fully trust him. In the bedroom she used to, but outside? She never doubted where his loyalties were. They’d been spelled out perfectly to her, and it had not been her. His devotion to Mara was fanatical in nature. It appeared to have grown worse over time. A splinter, tiny but persistent, wedged in her mind. There was something else to this obsession.

“Fine. Then I’m not helping you. It’s been an interesting reunion Uldren.” She gave him a mock salute before turning and opening the door with a snap. Arawn had already taken care of her helm, but even then she’d be fine to leave it there. A small price. She made it halfway down the hall before he caught up to her, catching her arm in a firm grip, and she saw just how much it grated his pride to bend. _Good_. Siobhan thought it was about time he made a concession. She maintained her cool veneer as she waited for him to speak.

“Fine. We need privacy.” He turned and glanced back over his shoulder as she heaved a sigh. _Maybe not too many concessions then._ Her footsteps fell in behind his as they made their way through the ship, she sincerely hoped Arawn was taking note of where the exit was. She was lost as hell. They stopped in front of a large door and her stomach twisted at the implications. Either it was a dungeon or his bedroom, either way it would end with her in chains. _Will you fight the chains?_ Siobhan glared at the wall after the words popped into her mind. Deep down she knew if she stepped through that door it meant she would accept him again. The terms of their agreement and when it was over she’d have one more scar on her heart. He turned as the door opened and swept his hand in a go ahead gesture. She froze for a fraction of a second, that rational part of her screaming for her to run and never look back. Instead, she squared her shoulders and stepped over the threshold.

The door slammed shut behind them as she passed by him into the room. The sound had a finality to it that she had expected and she felt him at her back. Siobhan breathed in and turned to face him. She found her chin grasped in strong fingers, tilting her face up towards his. “Are you brave or stupid for entering my rooms little fly?” His silken voice sent a shiver down her spine. Her body craved him, craved the heat that bubbled inside her when they were together. She met his golden eyes with blue fire in hers, she may want him but it wouldn’t be an easy capitulation.

“Such fire in your eyes. The same fire I saw when you first approached us for help.” He turned her head to the side, his eyes fell on the collar around her neck. “You intrigued me then. I had hoped this separation would kill this fascination, alas it isn’t so.” Ennui dripped from his voice and it sparked her ire in answer. “It’s distracting. I hate it.” She could hear the hate in his tone, and that genuinely surprised her above all else.

“If you want a convenient whore, find someone else Uldren.” Ice cracked in her tone as her eyes burned into his. The strength behind the fingers on her chin had fire kindling in her belly, not that it had fully died from their encounter in the study. It burned low and throbbed between her legs. It had been so very long since she’d experienced the touch of another and the heat that spread from her groin. The fire in his eyes melted away to something else, something that burned for an entirely different reason. It sent a shiver down her back.

“Oh? You’d be satisfied with that?” It cost her tremendously but she kept her face passive under his scrutiny. Jealousy was an ugly emotion, one that she tried to tamp down in her chest. “No reaction? How boring.”

Siobhan’s lip curled to respond with a snarl when his lips covered hers. Her lips parted on a groan as his tongue swept inside to taste. Her hands dug into the sleeves of his armor as the inferno raged on inside her. The urge to go to her knees and submit to him again was so strong, it took all of her willpower to resist. She, instead, savored the feel of his body against hers and the taste of him on her tongue. His hand threaded through her hair, fisting at her nape. Pain mixed with the fire in her blood, inflaming her further.

He lifted his head a fraction of an inch. “I’ll have you now Guardian. Then you will show me how to get what I need.” His words whispered over her skin as his lips trailed over her cheek and temple.

“Such confidence.” Siobhan wasn’t sure how she managed to add the sneer into her voice, with her body quaking under his.

“You like it well enough.” His dark whisper sent a shiver down her spine. She gasped as his other hand released the seals on her chest plate. Her body jerked, and she hissed in pain as his hand didn’t release her hair. That trademark smirk was on his face, the one she always wanted to rip off him.

“I’m not ruled by my body’s instincts unlike others.” Siobhan gasped as he backed her into the wall. Her breath escaped in a shaky sigh through trembling lips as he pressed against her.

“Do you accept the terms?” Uldren murmured against her neck. He punctuated his words with a light nip to her skin. Siobhan’s head fell back and her fingers clutched at his shoulders. Her mind whirled, did she want to accept them again? Was she willing to give up control while the collar was around her throat? Her body screamed in frustration as she felt the outline of him through his trousers.

“Yes! Yes, I accept the terms!” The words exploded from her lips, ripped from her by the magnitude of her need.

“Then you know what you need to do.” She groaned at his words. This ritual was familiar, comforting, but inflaming as well. Her body knew what was coming, her hands trembled only slightly as they peeled the rest of her clothing off. She hesitated when it came to her shirt, knowing what was under it. Uncertainty washed through her at the memory of the scars on her belly and back. It would certainly turn him off if he were to see them.

“Why do you hesitate?” His voice held that disdainful note in it, biting into her confidence.

“I.” Siobhan paused as she fought against the ache in her chest. “I did not escape unscathed from my fight with Oryx or in the Red War.” Her fingers twisted in the material of her shirt.

“Scars? Guardians can be scarred?” It seemed as if he filed this away for later. “You may keep the shirt on if it suits you.” He paused before tugging at the metal loop. “This time.”

She nodded but decided to get it over with. The shirt slid off her body, exposing her skin to the warm air of his quarters. He glanced down at her waist, studying the scar there. It was jagged and was half the size of her palm, she kept her nerves hidden under his scrutiny. A souvenir from Io. The skin was healed to a faded blue, almost white, against her body.

“Not as piddling as I imagined.” Siobhan’s eyes widened at the admission from him. It was as close as he would come to admitting he was affected by the sight of the scar. His hands swept down her body, mapping the lines and curves. She sighed as the warmth followed him. “Do not make a sound.” The only warning she got before she was turned and pressed against the wall. The cool metal bit into her breasts, but it did nothing to cool her desire. She bit her lip as his hand dipped between her legs, finding her wet and wanting. His thumb brushed against her clit, sending sparks of heat dancing along her nerves. A live current that focused on the movements of his fingers.

“So wet. Do you enjoy debasing yourself so much Guardian?” She longed to tell him it wasn’t the act itself. She wouldn’t let anyone do this to her and would pummel anyone who tried. That she let _him_ and released control to him was telling, at least in her eyes. She could not tell him. Her feelings were more than sex, but she doubted his were the same. Instead she lowered her head, letting her hair fall to expose the leather of the collar. There was this knowledge he wouldn’t hurt her with it on. It was a comfort to let someone else take the control for a while.

His lips brushed against the back of her neck, teeth gently nipping the skin there as his fingers played her like a master musician. He had her dancing along the edge, keeping it just out of her reach. She bit her lip to keep the sounds in, they threatened to overwhelm her. Need banked in her belly, an intense throb between her legs as his thumb pressed against her clit.

“Now, I’m going to fuck you Guardian. Do not move, do not make a sound. A wordless doll for my pleasure is all you will be. If you succeed adequately, I’ll reward you.” Uldren’s teeth were harsh against her shoulder when her hips rolled in response. Siobhan’s fingers tightened into fists, focusing on the pinprick of pain to keep her movements still.

“Good girl.” She kept her body still as he slammed to the hilt inside of her. The brutal pace he set inflamed her and she tensed at the first crack of his palm against her ass. Her hips had arched on their own. The sting sent tendrils of heat to her groin. The crude sound of their bodies inflamed her, brought her closer to that edge. She kept her desire leashed, focusing on him instead helped. He tensed behind her, pulsing inside of her as his orgasm washed over him.

From the past, she knew this was far from over. He withdrew and turned her, roughly slamming her against the wall. His hand gripped her thigh with bruising strength, throwing it over his hip. “How about I fill you up Guardian? So when you fight you have my release sliding down your thighs.” Her eyes betrayed her as a dark grin spread on his face. Those bright blue eyes closed as he hilted himself inside of her again. “I'll allow you to come this time, but only when I do.” She wanted to groan in frustration. Siobhan bit her lip to keep the moans inside.

“Let me hear you now.” The band around her chest broke at his words. She moaned, low and sweet, as his cock hit that spot inside her that made stars burst behind her eyelids. His name spilled from her lips like a benediction as the heat built between her legs.

“Please.” Siobhan pleaded as the tension tightened in her belly.

“I do enjoy it when you beg, but you must tell me what you want.” His lips dragged over her neck.

“Please let me come.” She felt the smile against her neck. Her mind was too consumed by the heat, frustration, and need for him to register it.

“Go ahead.” She cried out as his words broke the dam. Her released slammed into her with the force of a hurricane. He slammed into her and buried his face in her shoulder as he found his second release in her.

She came down from the high, panting as she tried to catch her breath. His touch gentled as his palm skimmed over her side before he stepped back with the mask in place. She felt the loss of him keenly as he turned and shrugged back into his armor. He ordered her back into hers so they could continue the search for his sister. She reached up and unhooked the collar from her neck. She set it on the table next to her, having a feeling their connection was over. Feeling the loss of the familiar weight around her neck as soon as it touched the table. A keen sense of loss cut her soul as she stared at the plain black leather resting against the metal stand. She shook the melancholy from her mind and turned. When the situation was over, perhaps they could sit and have a discussion about it.

She pulled on her armor, ignoring the sweet, delicious throbbing between her legs. The chest armor snapped in place and she was back to who she was. Siobhan, Nightstalker, slayer of Oryx, and hero of the City. All titles she never wanted or used. “Are there any leads to where your sister is?”

“There are certain locations that might yield to clues to her whereabouts.” He closed his eyes as if listening to something. That’s when she noticed it. A flicker of something over his skin, it sent fear curling in her belly. It was gone in a flash, and she convinced herself it was just a figment of her overactive mind. His eyes held hers for a long moment and she tilted her chin in a dare.

“Where are these locations?” Siobhan asked as she rolled her helm between her hands.

“The Shard.” Her head snapped up at those words. She took a deep breath and kept the alarm from showing.

“How do you know about it?” Suspicion weighed her voice. The Shard wasn’t widely known outside of the EDZ and Farm. She’d seen the drones around the area, but hadn’t given it a thought. He was assumed dead! Siobhan cursed inwardly.

“I have my ways Guardian. Now you are going to take me to it.” She huffed and turned her head.

“It’s been asleep or dead. I don’t know. Ever since I got my Light back during the war.” It had been a bittersweet moment for her. She’d been thrilled to have a way to help, but the silence that had loomed in the clearing had given her a moment’s pause. This shard of the Traveler had survived for countless years, saving and storing its Light. She shook away the thoughts and focused on Uldren again.

“Take me to it.” She nodded, the unease painted across her face. There was little harm in taking him to a dead shard.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I'm back with rewrites. This story isn't going to be a happy one. I made sure to tag for as much as I could. If you still want to read where this road goes then I'd love to have you along for the ride. If not, you can settle in for the sequel. Which is happier and will have a happy ending, as much of a happy ending as a Guardian can have.

Siobhan knew what Uldren wanted, she just didn’t understand why he wanted to travel to the small shard of the Traveler that had gifted her the last of its Light. The jump from Mars to the EDZ was a long, tense journey. Siobhan had thought it over, the erratic behavior. It didn’t make any sense. She understood his taking possession of the Fallen house, despite there being something she wasn’t seeing. The Fallen had taunted her as she left. She’d caught snippets of their conversations and jeers. It had one running theme. She wasn’t their Kell’s mate, just a convenient whore. It grated on her nerves. She’d wanted to lash out with her knife, but refrained. She’d still be one Guardian against a whole house of Fallen. She’d felt something, almost like smoke, curling around her boots while she was there. It had left behind a cold handprint on her skin. She pushed it down and took Uldren to the shard.

They stood in front of it but silence greeted them. She’d long ago known the shard was gone. Or perhaps it was merely sleeping. She wasn’t sure. The visions had been silent since the Traveler’s awakening. The EDZ was quiet, tranquil. A thrum of longing went through her. A longing for this tranquility to last. Some believed the war was over, with the Red Legion at least. Siobhan knew the war was just beginning. All the stories she’d been told, she knew that the Traveler had been running from something. It was coming, but there could be no predicting _what_ the Darkness was.

“This is it? There is nothing here!” He turned with a voice full of accusations and venom. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. Uldren had made no secret of his loathing for Guardians. His refusal to use her actual name hammered that point home. In the past, there’d been disdain but no real malice in him when he dealt with her. It had almost been soft the way he’d said her name, the way his eyes had looked over her. This time, this time she saw the vitriol burning in their golden depths. Fear snapped at her heels, making her take a step back in reflex. It was as if the mask he wore fell.

“You asked me to take you to the shard that gave me my Light back. I told you that it didn’t have any powers left!” Her hand edged towards the knife strapped by the small of her back. Siobhan wondered if she had the courage to kill him, and knew she didn’t. There was too much in her to contemplate it. The burn in her heart at the thought was too consuming. She’d merely injure him to buy time for Arawn to transmat her.

“This doesn’t bring me closer to freeing Mara!” He slammed his fist against the hard shell, cracking it. The metallic coating flecked off from the shell as he smacked it once more. Siobhan took a step back, there was something different to him. She’d sensed it before, but now it was in her face. He was a man possessed, she’d seen the look in another’s face before. And it settled like an ice cold stone in her stomach. That obsession, the hint of madness in his eyes. Another pair of eyes flashed through her mind, right before he kicked her over the edge of his ship. Panic seized her chest but not her mind.  
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“Uldren, what’s gotten into you!” She winced as he shot her a withering glare for daring to speak back. “This is insane! What are you looking for in this shard? You wanted to see it, and here we are.” She had to hear it from his own lips. Why he was looking for the Light?

“That doesn’t concern you.” Uldren snarled as she jerked back. His words slapped at her, cutting deep.

“Then I’m not helping you at all.” Siobhan crossed her arms and glared at him. She could be just as stubborn, it was about time he remembered that.

“It’s the only way to free her. I need the Light and the Dark.” Uldren’s shoulder slumped and she wanted to reach out. The touch of her hand on his shoulder surprised him.

“Light and Dark?” A memory tugged at her mind. A pull in her bones. That had meaning, of what significance she couldn’t remember. She felt Arawn’s distress like her own. It set her senses on alert. Nothing felt right anymore. Then she heard it. A faint whisper of sound by her ear. She spun on her heel but here was nothing there. Her eyes narrowed dangerously as her heart raced in her chest. She swore there had been someone beside her, it was almost as if she could feel the lips touch her skin. Uldren stood at her back as he stared in rage at the vacant shard of the Traveler.

“Are there more?” His demand brought her attention back to him. The question had her thinking and she could sense Arawn’s disapproval. She understood that saving Mara was important, and if the Queen of the Awoken was alive… The Tower would very much be interested to know _how_ she survived.

“I imagine so. The Traveler was damaged before it went to sleep.” She glanced up at the shard, the war playing over in her mind.

“A message from Cayde. Siobhan, there’s something you need to hear.” Uldren tensed and stared at her. Her Ghost stayed where he was, speaking to her over the comms. Arawn wasn’t about to show himself, an instinct told him to stay hidden.

“Arawn? What is it?” Siobhan felt a cold frission go down her spine. The way he was looking at her, it wasn’t the same as before. He’d always had that disdain, but it had lessened over time. She’d never fooled herself into thinking he cared for her, but she’d hoped that he had come to view her as different than most. The minute shifting of his feet wasn’t lost to her. It was subtle but the shift in weight had an alarm bell going off in her head. He was far quicker than she gave him credit for, and she stared down the barrel of the gun blindly as her eyes blurred. So it was to come to this.

“What are you doing Uldren?” Her voice never wavered, even as panic licked her throat. Dying wasn’t a true fear for a Guardian anymore, but a bullet to her head was always a painful way to go. The hurt burned her throat, the tears blinded her as she fought them. This was what was in his heart then. So easily to pull a gun on her. She blinked away the tears and felt the resolve settle in her soul.

“Do not answer that.” Deadly venom dripped from his voice.

“All right. Arawn reply to Cayde that we will call him later when we have time.” Arawn agreed but sent their coordinates to Cayde instead. Something didn’t sit right with him and, judging by her reaction, with Siobhan either. They needed backup, perhaps Cayde could send her teammates or one of the closer Guardians to help. Uldren lowered the pistol and stepped back.

“Find another.” He waved his pistol at the shard. Siobhan stared at him blankly, did he think she had a homing beacon or something? It wasn’t that easy.

“It’s not as easy as simply thinking hard. The reason I found this one was through visions.” A pulse went through her. A wave of intense heat that rolled across every nerve ending. Her head turned in the direction almost on instinct.

“What is it?” Impatience had him snapping at her. Siobhan bit her tongue to keep from biting his head off. Hostility wouldn’t serve either one of them. The trip from Mars to the EDZ had given her plenty to think about it. There was nothing in his eyes anymore, only obsession and madness. She opened her mouth to answer when she heard the ship break orbit.

“You lead them here.” The accusation hissed out between his teeth as he stepped back. Confusion marred her features until she recognized Cayde’s ship. Uldren turned his gun to her again as the two occupants exited the Vanguard’s ship.

“Cayde? _Petra_?” Siobhan saw the determination in Petra’s eyes. There was something going on that she didn’t understand.

“Uldren Sov, you know why we’re here.” She addressed him, ignoring Siobhan entirely. She looked to her Vanguard who gave her a wait a second signal. Impatience rode her shoulders but she knew that she wouldn’t get any answers unless they were good and ready. Annoying as hell, but she would wait. Petra listed the reasons she was bringing Uldren in and most of them shocked her to her core. She watched as Uldren didn’t fight, and she knew that was unusual. He was so obsessed with this madness a few moments ago, and now he went meekly away?

He wouldn’t be led anywhere unless he had a plan.


	5. Chapter 5

“Cayde!” The yell ricocheted around the hangar, attracting the attention of passerby. Siobhan stalked across the hangar after handing over her ship to the maintenance crew. Anger lined every part of her body, from her clenched fists to the thinned lips. It was rare to see this Guardian with such rage in her eyes, and it sent a cold shiver down his spine. Siobhan was his wife’s best friend, he thought of her as a sister, but she scared the pants off of him when she was well and truly angry. She wanted answers and he just wasn’t ready to give them. Not to this Guardian. He had his suspicions regarding her connection to Uldren, but since she kept everything hidden, he’d kept his silence. Better that way than to deal with messy drama. She kept her private life separated from her professional one, and that suited the Vanguard enough to leave it be. Ikora and Zavala were more than willing to turn a blind eye to the relationship since it never impacted the Tower. Now that it threatened to become a nasty tangle? The other two left it to him to deal with her. It did surprise him that she didn’t even tell Nevia about the tangle of that particular web, given how close the two were. “You will give me the answers that I want.”

“Sio…” Cayde sighed and rubbed the back of his head. “He didn’t do anything to us. It was the Awoken that wanted him. I owed Petra one so…” Even as the words left him, he knew she wouldn’t be satisfied with that answer. The ice in her eyes confirmed that she wouldn’t. This was a woman he considered a sister, one who had stretched her neck out for him. He saw the hurt beneath the ice and that had panic racing through his circuits.

“You used me.” Siobhan clenched her fists as Cayde raised his hands and sighed. He couldn’t blame her. It did look like that, after all, he’d been the one to suggest Zavala send Siobhan to Mars. Then from there they’d tracked them to the EDZ. Even without Arawn sending their coordinates, they’d known where the pair had been. He didn’t like dealing with her like that. Siobhan had been nothing but loyal to the Tower and they repaid her by using her connection to Uldren. Using her feelings. It made him feel dirty and guilty to do it to her.

“Look, Uldren’s been up to some really shady stuff. My scouts and the Awoken have put together loads of reports, that I really don’t wanna read all of, about what happened. Since Oryx’s attack. Here read this.” He handed her the reports Petra had sent him. Siobhan read Kura’s writing, Shiro’s, and a few names she didn’t recognize. Some were Guardians and the others were Awoken scouts as Cayde said. The destruction and devastation of the Reef, the things he willingly let the Taken and Red Legion forces do. Uldren turned his back on the Reef. It didn’t make any sense. The man lived and breathed for the Reef and for his sister. Something was wrong. Yet, no one was questioning it.

“Cayde, something’s not right. Will you listen to me?” Siobhan demanded as he turned his attention to Colonel. The chicken had made its home in the hangar, nesting down next to Cayde’s ‘desk’, and she used the term loosely. He looked up from the chicken with regret tightening his facial plates.

“You read the words Sio. It’s there in black and white. He and his little band of merry men are paying for their crimes.” The reports crumpled in her hands as she clenched them into fists. So they were all satisfied to just let it be? As if a man as intelligent as Uldren would be caught if that wasn’t something he wanted to happen. It infuriated her. This would backfire on them in a big way if they just left it. Siobhan hated feeling helpless, absolutely _despised_ it.

“ _Listen to me_.” He turned, surprised by the ice in her voice. “Something is not right Cayde. There’s something…” Siobhan smothered the frustrated scream in her chest as Nevia bounded up to speak with Cayde. She couldn’t discuss this in front of her, didn’t want to face the questions.

“Sio?” Cayde asked as she turned on her heel after greeting Nevia. She needed to get away and just _breathe_. She couldn’t do that in the hangar, and as much as she loved Nevia… Siobhan couldn’t stand to look at her Vanguard, not with the fury boiling in her chest. The fury at being brushed aside, of her concerns being brushed aside as nothing. Again and again, she’d be dismissed. Until she was needed and then she’d be the first one they asked for help.

“Nothing.” She tossed the reports onto the table before she stalked out of the hangar. She needed to be alone to think. It was difficult for her to process her thoughts when she was around people, even people she loved. She made her way to the tiny garden that Anna kept near the Tower. Her finger tapped against the tiny ball of crystal hanging from the branch. It caught the light and sent rainbows dancing over the greenery. A tiny smile played on her lips as she watched the colors. It was a calm area, well tended and lush. A small bit of the Wilds that Anna brought to the City.

“Siobhan?” Arawn bumped against her cheek as he appeared. She looked to the side, the reluctance to speak evident in her eyes. “Talk to me.” They’d talk and he’d help her process what was going on.

“Everyone’s so quick to dismiss this as over and done with. I know it’s not. Why can’t they see that? Uldren Sov, even as broken as he is now, would never go without a fight. That’s not who he is.” She sat on one of the branches of the sturdy oak tree. The sun was sinking below the horizon, it usually gave her a sense of peace. All she felt was cold. Cold and empty. The look in his eyes as Petra and Cayde took him away. Tears burned at her eyes as she remembered the hate there.

“You don’t know the whole man Siobhan.” Arawn began gently but she shook her head.

“No. I don’t. I never did. Wasn’t _allowed_ to. But I’m not stupid. Did you see the aura patterns on his skin?” She pulled off her gauntlet and held up her own hand. The ripples of light danced over her skin in the light of the sunset. “Look at mine. They’re not as bright as Commander Zavala’s or as erratic as Nevia’s. But,” she paused as she tried to gather her thoughts. “They’re still light. Uldren’s were darker.” Arawn was right. She hadn’t known the whole man. Yet there had been moments between them that hadn’t been harsh. She’d seen that he could be kind and even gentle during those moments. Rare as they were. It had made her crave more. Crave what she couldn’t have.

Arawn’s shell spun at her words. He brought up the image of Uldren and he noted the shadows over his skin. “Could he be…” Arawn didn’t want to say it out loud, not in front of his Guardian.

“Tainted by the Dark? I think so. Those merry men that Cayde was talking about. As if Uldren was Robin Hood.” The Scorn worried her, there was something sinister about them that put her back up. She scoffed. Despite her feelings, she could call a spade a spade. “More like King John.”

“The phony king…” Arawn spoke before he thought better of it, but the smile on his Guardian’s face was genuine. It was the first one he’d seen on her face in a long time, it sent his shell fluttering to see it. Her eyes turned a brighter blue when she smiled.

“Except Uldren doesn’t want to rule. He wants his sister. Even if Mara was alive, how would she even be brought back? It’s been so long since Oryx destroyed the Awoken fleet.” She sighed and tapped the suncatcher above her head. “The problem lies in his fanaticism. And that voice…” Siobhan rubbed her ear at the memory. It still sent a chill down her spine. _Siobhan_. Uldren never used her name, neither had Mara. That feminine voice, cold as ice, whipped over her senses before disappearing. She hoped she had imagined it.

“Voice?”

“When we were at the shard. I swore I felt lips at my ear. I heard a voice. It said my name.” She knew it wasn’t a whisper from the void. Those she was used to. The voice in the valley was different. “It sent ice down my back Arawn. Whatever it was, it’s obviously nothing good.”

“And no one is going to listen to us…” Siobhan shook her head. They really wouldn’t and she couldn’t fight for it. It would be revealing far too much and she knew how badly she skirted the line already. Just by being involved with the prince. As much as she’d done for the Tower, she knew her loyalty would be questioned. Her arms rested on her knees as she sat with her back to the trunk of the tree. The suncatchers swung lightly in the breeze, sending light swirling against them.

“No. No one would listen except for maybe the rest of my team.” Siobhan smiled at Arawn, traces of sadness lingered in her eyes.

“What about Nevia? Will you tell her?” Siobhan shook her head. “You shouldn’t hide it from her.”

“I know. I just. _Can’t_. She has always been hostile towards the Awoken of the Reef, aside from a select few. Uldren was not one of the select few. She could barely stand him the one time she did meet him.” She swung her leg down as she watched the suncatcher cast rainbows on the leaves of the tree. “She wouldn’t judge me, but I don’t know if she wouldn’t look at me and question. If it came down to Uldren or someone else, would they question my loyalty?” She felt the weight on her shoulders. Her own heart didn’t know right now, but her mind…

“Siobhan. Everyone knows where your loyalty lies.” Arawn bumped her cheek at the misery in her eyes.

“Do they? They say they do, but would they believe it I wonder? If it came down to pulling the trigger, would the Tower still not question my loyalty.”

“Would you pull the trigger?” Arawn let the words hang between them. Siobhan let her eyes burn. She knew, _knew_ , what her heart screamed. In her head, she knew that it wasn’t to be. She’d put down Vex, Fallen, Hive, and even Taken. Yet, she knew without a doubt, she’d pull the trigger if it had to be done.

“You know me Arawn,” Siobhan choked out with her throat thick from misery. She wiped at the tears that spilled. He nodded and nestled against her neck, regretting his hasty words. He did indeed know his Guardian. The pain he felt in her told him clear as day what she’d do. And how it would rip her soul to pieces. He sincerely hoped the day wouldn’t come where they had to put the hypothetical to the test.


	6. Chapter 6

Siobhan heard the alarms and Petra over the comm. “It’s not a riot! It’s a prison break! He’s gone Cayde!” The pit settled in her stomach. She knew what that meant. _Uldren._ She headed for the direction he’d go. It took her a few more moments than she would have liked. The scene in front of her didn’t give her a moment’s pause. The knife left her fingers before she realized she had drawn it. It sank into his shoulder, knocking his aim off. The bullet meant for Cayde’s head grazed the metal beside it instead. Her Vanguard fell back as he passed out from the injuries to his body. The alarm she felt from Arawn had her assuming the worst. Her Vanguard was dead. Killed by Uldren. She looked over at him, tears burning the backs of her eyes. The Tower would want his blood for this. Nevia would want his blood. She should, but she wanted _answers_. Had to know why, why would he do all of this?

“Uldren! What are you doing? _Why_!?” She placed herself in between Cayde and Uldren and his Scorn. Hoping it would give them pause. She wasn’t injured, and had seen their fighting. The Scorn Barons scoffed at her and shifted as she glared at their leader. She hoped Arawn would stay in his hiding spot. Uldren casually took the blade out of his shoulder and sent it sliding across the room.

“As if _you_ could understand.” The disgust and venom in his voice slapped at her. She deserved no less, but the hurt was still there. It burned in her chest.

“Try me!” She held out her hand as one of the other Fallen took a step forward. The glowing bombs along his torso, the Mad Bomber. Her eyes narrowed dangerously at him as the others shifted. The other Baron stepped forward, imposing in his size and alien in his shape. She’d done her research regarding the Scorn. A contact in the Tangled Shore had helped her pinpoint who each was. That she owed him a favor grated on her pride, but there was no dealing with him without trading. She knew the Mindbender when she saw him, the strange mixture of Hive and Fallen. It made her sick to her stomach, but she couldn’t give anything away.

“The Reef will burn before us!” The Archon, Fikrul, shouted as she kept her eyes on Uldren. Hers searched his for any sign he wasn’t completely lost. The dark flickers over his skin were more pronounced. She noted the corruption, and it cut at her. A ball of burning regret lodged in her chest, and she wanted to reach out to him. He looked too far gone, the word was on the tip of her tongue. She viciously bit it back. She noticed something in his eyes, a flicker of some emotion. It wasn’t tender but it wasn’t hatred. She refused to let herself hope. Whatever was consuming his mind, she still saw him there. Confliction rose in her mind, as her heart raged to go with him.

“Leave her. She is of no consequence.” Uldren dismissed her like a noisy gnat. He and the Scorn headed for the gate. Siobhan knew it was now or never. There had to be a way to get her answers. Her lips thinned as she knew what that would mean. The Tangled Shore. That was their destination.

“Arawn. We go dark. No pings, no messages, _nothing_.” Siobhan cloaked as they turned their backs to her. When Uldren turned to address her again, he saw nothing but the body of Cayde-6. None of them even sensed her as she slipped behind them into the gate. She slipped behind cover as she arrived a few seconds behind them. It was enough to keep her hidden from them. All those weeks stalking the Hive on the Moon and the Dreadnought paid off in moving without a sound. Better to stay out of sight and let them think they’d escaped. She didn’t doubt anyone was fooled, but there was a sliver of a chance they’d gone through unnoticed.

“This is… Siobhan, they’re going to the Tangled Shore.” Siobhan nodded even as she sighed in irritation. That meant her contact was going to be pissy. Hopefully the Spider wasn’t too put out to keep information to himself. Especially since she was keen on getting rid of these Scorn. She’d free his shore and bathe it in the blood of the Scorn if it meant she’d get her answers.

“That just means we’ll need to be smart. Petra will know to go to the Spider. Everyone knows he’s the one you go to for anything regarding the Shore. Which means we need to get ahead of Petra and anyone coming from the Tower. They’ll likely think I sided with Uldren or was killed in the break.” Arawn nodded and sighed. That meant they’d have to deal with the eliksni. He hated going to the Spider.

“I still dislike him. The way he plays with those shells…” Siobhan patted his shell as they stayed in cover. They had no choice, not if they wanted to get ahead of Uldren and the Barons. They waited until the coast was clear before approaching the Spider’s lair. The makeshift lair was as opulent as his normal headquarters. The guards shifted as she approached, they recognized her. His dark chuckle greeted her before his words did.

“Well, well. Look at this juicy little morsel that walked into my web.” She huffed at his theatrics. He leaned forward in his seat. “Tell me, Guardian. How do you like the path your lover carves in the Tangled Shore?” Her back stiffened at the implication.

“He is not my lover Spider. Not anymore.” She acknowledged what he knew. That had been her secret she’d traded in the past. He’d been very interested to know that the Prince of the Reef had a Guardian lover. “You already know why I’m here Spider.”

“Ah yes. Petra was here before you. She wants Uldren’s location. Strange, she also asked about you.” His voice deepened in pitch as he leaned forward at the last bit. “Going rogue are we Guardian? That’s unlike you.” Siobhan grimaced at the truth. She had indeed gone rogue, though she hadn’t turned her back on the Tower. She just needed to unshackle herself from the rules the Tower played by for a bit.

“That is none of your business Spider. I want to know where Uldren is. Where are his Barons?” The Spider sat back and laughed. She was always full of fire and spirit. Even the first time she’d approached him, a month after Uldren had been secretly imprisoned. She’d stormed into his lair, full of bluster and demands. Still as impudent but she was willing to trade. He appreciated a certain level of competence, and this Guardian had that in abundance.

“Ah yes. Petra came here for the same thing. I was,” he paused as his claws twisted the dead Ghost in his grasp. “Less welcoming than I am with you. With you, I have no doubt I will have _my_ Tangled Shore back. You’re no stranger to bloodshed are you?” He chuckled and she could swear he grinned at her. Siobhan hated that he spoke the truth. Killing, hunting, and fighting were all she knew. The past decade had been nothing but constant fighting. Too much blood on her hands, it surprised her that the skin there wasn’t stained scarlet.

“So, you will tell me where he is and I will get your Shore back?” She phrased it as a question, not out of respect for Spider. No, she knew his ilk and he knew hers. She phrased it as a question more out of self-preservation than anything else.

“Yes, yes. We’ll say you owe me one.” Siobhan refrained from rolling her eyes. Owing a blind favor to Spider, she was in deep now. She nodded. She needed to have answers. There was one more thing she needed. No doubt the Tower would send someone, and that someone would interfere with her plans on the Shore. That couldn’t happen.

“But I have another request. Consider it another favor owed if you must.” Siobhan spoke with her hands this time.

“Oh? Do share my Guardian.” He clasped his lower hands over his stomach, the picture of nonchalance. She knew better. He’d be out of that chair in a second with his claws around her throat if he so much as thought she was threatening him.

“I need you to keep Petra and whoever else comes hunting for Uldren off his path.”

“Going for all the glory are you Guardian?” This time she didn’t hold in the eye roll. Spider laughed, his armor rattling from the force of it. “No, this is more personal isn’t it?”

“Fine, it is personal. I won’t rest until I find my answers Spider.” Siobhan crossed her arms as she stared up at him. “You’ll have your Tangled Shore, but I have my own agenda.”

“Getting your personal feelings involved will just result in disaster Guardian.” Her fingers tightened on her armor. Her blue eyes met his defiantly. He chuckled and leaned back. “Alright. We’ll play this your way for now. In return, you owe me two favors.” He held up his claws. “And you get me my shore.”

“Done.” Siobhan told him. He laughed gleefully as he gave her the locations of the Barons. Informing her that she’ll need to take them all out one by one before she could get to Uldren. Siobhan nodded, not much had changed since the last time she’d asked him for the information.

“Do be careful my Guardian. I’d hate to lose someone as useful as you.” The guards straightened as Spider dismissed her. Siobhan left his hideaway, determination riding her shoulders. A compliment from the Spider of all people. Suspicion had her hunching her shoulders. He was never that nice without a reason.

“Siobhan. We need to blend in better.” Arawn bobbed in the direction of her cloak. _Efrideet’s Mantle._ It made her stick out like a sore thumb in the Tangled Shore. Uldren’s Barons would see her coming long before she ever stepped foot in their territory. Her armor screamed Tower Guardian. They needed armor that wasn’t so… New.

“I think I can help you out with that. If you’re interested that is?” She whirled at the sound of the new voice. Her eyes narrowed at the man as he approached. The jade pendant around his neck swung as he walked, a grin plastered on his face. He didn’t give off any threatening aura, yet every instinct she possessed told her to be wary. It was in the subtle way his eyes scanned her up and down, and seemed to find her lacking. Her shoulders stiffened as she remembered the number one rule in the Tangled Shore. _Trust no one._

“And what is the price you want?” If there was one thing Siobhan knew, it was that in the Tangled Shore nothing was free.


	7. Chapter 7

Siobhan tugged at her gauntlets as she stepped out from the room. The man who introduced himself as The Drifter, let her cloak flow over his fingers. “Efrideet huh? I remember an Efrideet. Wrecked my bar back in the Dark Ages.” The laugh escaped before she could stop it. “Well, what’d ya know. Your face didn’t crack.”

“A regular comedian. Thanks for the armor. Now, about the price?” She propped her hand on her hip as she faced him. The armor was basic black, even the cloak. Arawn’s shell wasn’t its usually galaxy map, he’d gone in for a matching shell.

“I’ll give it to ya for free this time. All I need, is someone to spread the word of this new game I’m bringing. Seeing as I have the slayer of Ghaul here in front of me, figured you’d have connections.” Always a catch. Always came back to her deeds.

“What’s the game?” He explained it to her and the idea intrigued her. “Alright Drifter. I’ll send a few emails. Get the word spreading on the Tower for you.” Arawn sent the emails, keeping their location off the radar. He was a whiz at that. A few key people who would like the type of game, Gambit, the Drifter had.

“Excellent. Then I consider this an even trade Guardian.” Siobhan couldn’t help the scoff. Everyone called her by her title, never by her name. It set her teeth on edge, but nothing she could do about it. That’s how she’d always be known to everyone. Only her Fireteam and Nevia really called her by her name.

“Good.” Siobhan headed to the door when his hand closed over her elbow. Her eyes snapped up to his, the warning flashing in them. Her other hand closed into a fist, even as the little zing of heat flashed through her at the strength in his hand.

“What’s your hurry there?” She yanked her arm free of his grip.

“As you’ve said. I’m the bleeding slayer of Ghaul. What do you think I’m doing out here?” She snapped as anger burned the back of her throat.

“Not anything official. Woulda heard about the Tower sanctioning a blood hunt. You goin’ rogue?” The delight in his voice had her digging in her heels. She may have been going rogue but her back would never turn from the Tower.

“Not. I’m not going rogue. Recon.” That was as much as she’d give him. His fingers closed over her chin and he forced her to look at him. The strength in his grip had her on alert. It also sent butterflies in her stomach. That only served to piss her off more.

“I can tell when someone’s lying to my face, but I’ll let it go this time. None of my business why you’re on the Tangled Shore anyway. ‘Specially if it’s to bathe it in blood.” He chuckled and released her chin. She could feel the imprint of his fingers on her skin. In another time, she’d have probed his interest a bit more. Not anymore. She was too consumed by her need for answers.

“Maybe I’ll check out your little game when I get finished with my own errands. See you Drifter.” She waved to him and headed out onto the Shore. There were a few things she needed to settle first before she headed off to find Uldren.

“Let the Spider know we’re heading to our first target. The Hangman.” She headed towards his headquarters. She set her mind for a brutal fight and brutal it was. The Hangman hung by his own noose as she left his region for the Spider’s soldiers to clear up. She grimaced as the pain throbbed in her side. She hadn’t made it out unscathed from that battle. Arawn patched her up as best as he could.

“The Spider wants us to come back. He has a message for us.” His optic light looked at her in concern. This wouldn’t be good. Especially since Siobhan was in an ornery mood.

“He can send a message. I’ve got a date with the Rider.” She hopped on her sparrow.

“He won’t like it.” Siobhan huffed, as if that bothered her. Let him take it out of her hide, it wouldn’t be any worse than what she was already going through. He needed her intact if he was going to get his Shore back.

“He doesn’t like a lot of what I do. Add this to his growing list of things to hold over my head.” Siobhan grumbled as she directed the vehicle to the section of the Shore the Rider patrolled. It took a lot more grace than she ever thought she possessed to finish off the Rider while on a Pike. She’d been patrolling the lands the Rider had called home for more clues when the sound of the screebs caught her. She’d dashed up the side of a tree to get away from them. There were certain things that superseded her need for revenge, the thought of one exploding on her was such a thing. Arawn announced a message from Spider and opened the comm channel. He explained it was urgent.

“My Guardian, you ignore me in favor of fighting Scorn?” Siobhan clung to the tree branch as the screebs patrolled below. “Here I thought we were coming to understand one another.” She hoped the creatures hadn’t heard him, but their excited chatter told her they did. _Ugh._

“I have my own mission Spider. I’m not your puppet on a string. You can’t just tug and expect me to obey you.” She dropped the grenade into the pile of them. They exploded in a geyser of gore. She winced as it missed her by mere inches. Exploding enemies were the one thing she couldn’t stomach. Vex, Hive, and now Fallen. She hated them.

“You would not have these locations without my assistance. Do remember who it was that helped you.” Siobhan scoffed at him. She heard the thinly veiled threat, he was usually more subtle. The wait was likely getting to him. That was unavoidable since it took a while to track each Baron in their own land. She scanned the area before she swung down from the tree. Exhaustion weighed her limbs. It had been a week since she’d last rested for more than a moment or two.   
“I know Spider. I agreed to owing you two favors in exchange for their locations and to keep the Tower and Petra off my trail.” She sighed heavily as Arawn summoned up her sparrow.

“Petra Venj has her own network my Guardian.” Siobhan groaned. She headed to the Spider’s lair and stood in front of the imposing eliksni. Sleep deprivation sharpened the edge of her temper. “Look what the screebs have dragged in.” She clenched her jaw and narrowed her eyes at him.

“What do you want Spider?” Her tone had more bite than she wanted. It was hard to keep her temper in check with such little sleep. He chuckled and leaned back. Thankfully he was feeling forgiving that day.

“Straight to the point then. Alright. You have your questions my Guardian. I have my own.” He clicked his claws together in front of his face as he leaned back in his chair. “I want to know where Uldren got this dark ether. How it was created.” Siobhan narrowed her eyes. “Get me the information I require, and we’ll consider it a favor paid.”

“Fine.” She looked at him. “I’ll get your information.” She turned on her heel and stalked to the door. That would be easy enough to find out.

“ _Petra Venj approaches._ ” Siobhan cursed as she looked around for a hiding spot. She yelped in surprise as a clawed hand closed over her arm and yanked. Searing pain woke her groggy senses as she was lifted off her feet by her arm. Tears of pain blinded her as he kept her dangling. Fighting back would mean feeling those claws in her skin, so she bit her lip to keep quiet. Arawn informed her that she had a dislocated shoulder thanks to the pull.

“Let me go Spider! I can’t afford Petra finding me!” His eyes narrowed in amusement as she struggled despite the pain.

“Like a delicious little fly, trying to escape the web.” Panic licked at her throat at his proximity. His mask brushed her neck. The deep rumble in his chest broke through the fog. “I see you are not like some of your fellows.” Siobhan flushed a deep blue. She knew what he meant. One of those so called ‘fellows’ was a decent friend to her.

“If you mean do I have the urge to sleep with eliksni? Then no, I’m not like some of my fellow Guardians.” She pushed at the Spider’s chest with her good arm. He released her arm and Arawn set it before disappearing in a flash.

“Your taste runs to arrogant men I see.” She sneered at him for the jab. It didn’t slip by that he’d used the plural term, and she grimaced. “You may hide here until Petra leaves.”

“No thanks. Don’t need anymore favors adding up. I can get out just fine.” Siobhan pushed off of him. She dusted off her cloak before she activated her cloaking. “I will get your information for you Spider.” She left the room as Petra entered, already furious with him about something. Yet, she kept her tongue in check.

Siobhan spared a glance for her, she knew that what she was doing was wrong. Likely they thought she was dead until those emails appeared about the Gambit. And only that. She hated to think that anyone thought she sided with Uldren… But there couldn’t be any answers yet, not until she had hers. A flicker of guilt passed over her before she disappeared.


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of the Barons went down with brutal fights. Siobhan never quit, even as Arawn patched up her wounds again and again. The nickname the Drifter gave her in jest was starting to fit better and better, the more Scorn that fell under her boots. The more the blood stained the armor, the soil, her hands. Arawn was worried for her, her single minded determination at getting to Uldren. She refused to rest until she had her answers. Her heart was conflicted on what she had to do, and she knew how this would end. The devastation in the Tangled Shore cemented that reality. The few quiet moments she had between battles were spent thinking what she’d say to Uldren when she saw him again. The Spider had informed her of the burning of the throne room. The guards had been massacred as Uldren had sat in Mara’s seat. It hurt. More than she wanted to admit to herself. The old Uldren, the one she knew, he’d never do anything like that. He lived and breathed for the Reef. It’s people. Nothing made sense anymore.

“Argh!” She ran a hand through her hair as the frustrated growl burst out of her chest. She was growing weary of the game. Always one step behind him. Her head fell back and she stared up into familiar eyes. In the weeks on the Reef, she’d gotten accustomed to staying in the Derelict. His invitation had come as a surprise to her, but she’d tentatively accepted. It wasn’t much, just as he said. Relative safety was all she asked for these days. Though she still expected a knife to the back, it seemed the Drifter was too busy to bother. His Gambit had picked up after her contacts had spread the word. Whatever his goal was, it was certainly being met now. Siobhan wondered how this would come and bite her in the ass.

“It’s too early for that.” He pushed at her face with his hand as she flipped him off. He skirted the edge of the couch and stood across from her on the sofa. “You gonna run in Gambit today?” He sipped at his coffee as he sat. Dressed only in those pants he preferred. It was an impressive sight. She was determined but not dead. She ignored the tug in her belly as he stretched. “Executioner.”

“Ugh. Enough with the nicknames.” She rolled her shoulders and shook her head. She could relax around him a little, only a little. Not enough to drop the wall. “There’s only two more left. Then it will be Uldren.”

“Suit yourself. Gambit’s always open to you.” He finished his coffee and shuffled out of the room. Brushing against her shoulder as he did so. She sighed and stood. She had to finish the mission. She transmatted out of the ship and Arawn hesitated only a moment before he brought up the question.

“Siobhan. What if we don’t get any answers from him?” Her jaw tightened as her eyes focused ahead. She couldn’t look at him, she’d break.

“We know what we have to do.” His shell fluttered as he stared at his Guardian.

“You’ll kill him?”

“After what he’s done. There’s no other solution that will be accepted. The Tower likely thinks I’ve joined him at this point.” Arawn shook his body vehemently. “Or they think I’m dead.”

“Siobhan…” The tears misted her vision as she thought about everything.

“He killed Cayde. Did all those horrible things to the Awoken. Then this thing with the Scorn? What sentence would the Awoken impose?” His optic light scanned the area as he mentally went over the Awoken laws.

“It would be treason… The punishment is death or exile.”

“Petra wouldn’t let him be exiled. Not after everything he’s done. You know her as I do.” The tears wet her cheeks as she watched the landscape. Arawn remained quiet. They both thought the same thing. Siobhan looked up as they approached the Rifleman’s hideaway. The one who killed Sundance. They would pay. She felt the anger flowing from Arawn as they both remembered the fateful shot that shattered Cayde’s Ghost. They hadn’t been in time, and she’d regret it every day that she wasn’t fast enough. She’d been the closest to Cayde but it hadn’t been enough. Nothing had been. This was the least she could do, make the Scorn _pay_ for taking Cayde and Sundance.

\----------

“We only have Fikrul and Uldren left…” Arawn murmured as they approached the Watchtower. He worried for Siobhan. She was consumed with this need to find Uldren. If it had been Nevia, it would be understandable. Vengeance. Siobhan didn’t hate Uldren. He knew she still had feelings for him, or what he had been. He remembered that it had not all been rough and domination between them. The Reef Prince would have been horrified to know that the Ghost could see the emotions behind his eyes.

It worried him to see Siobhan so obsessed with finding him. Even going so far to make deals with the Spider. She’d dealt with the man known as the Drifter, been given a nickname that didn’t suit her at all. He much preferred Shaxx’s nickname for Siobhan when she was in the Crucible. The rare times she appeared. _Tempest._ Arawn shook himself free of his own thoughts and watched as she approached.

He stood by the doorway. Waiting. They both knew how this would go down. Siobhan steeled herself for a long fight. This was the one who could bring the Scorn back from the dead. He was the first. And it seemed fitting that he was the last. She couldn’t just attack him without a solid plan in place. She stood on the hard ground facing him, his grip shifted on his staff.

“I will soak the ground with your blood for Father.” He snarled as she tightened her hands on the hilt of the sword at her back. The air was alive with the sharp bite of ether. Thick and cloying, it weighed down her lungs. Arawn would have to work to keep her airway free.

“You won’t do anything.” Siobhan’s lip curled as she threw the grenade at him. He summoned his minions, their screeches filled the area. Siobhan used her tether to keep them together before she brought out the sword. It glowed with brilliant void Light, burning purple in the dim light of the Watchtower. An old Dawning gift from Jareth, the sword was lightweight and its blade was sharpened to a fine edge. Siobhan rarely used her sword, but the name seemed to fit her mission this time. _Siren’s Vengeance_. Jareth had once jokingly said that out of all of her team, she was the one who defined the word. Now it would be used for its namesake. Vengeance. Vengeance for Cayde, vengeance for Sundance, vengeance for Nevia. Vengeance for the torn and shattered heart. She lunged forward and swung at the stalkers.

Siobhan fought to catch her breath as she stood over Fikrul. The sword, blade soaked in eliksni blood, pointed at his throat. Her boot pressed into his chest. “Father. Father will succeed and you will pay.” Siobhan’s lips twisted as she fought the urge to cry. She saw the Dark in him now. The corrupted ether had turned them into mindless soldiers now, devoted slaves. Was this what happened to Uldren? Siobhan shook her head and pressed the blade into his throat. It just pierced the skin.

“I won’t let him. There’s been more than enough blood spilled.” She didn’t know what urged her to speak with him before killing him.

“You are no. Better than we are.” Siobhan frowned at him. “Both undying.”

“You’re wrong. I was forged in the Light of the Traveler. For good or for ill, I am a creature of the Light. I fight your kind. The ones tainted by Darkness.” She wished the words rang true instead of hollow in her heart.

“Even the one you call lover? My father?” Siobhan froze and the sword trembled at his words. The laugh started at his chest and worked its way outward. “We know of you. Of what he did to you on that ship. Used you.”

“I know.” Her simple words cut his amusement short. “And now I go to end this charade.” She drove the sword down into his throat, twisting and taking off his head. She ignored the tears. Ignored the pain in her chest. The pain that screamed at her to stop. Let someone else do what must be done.

She stepped over Fikrul and entered the Watchtower to face Uldren. Squaring her shoulders for the inevitable.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now we arrive at the end. This isn't happy for either of them. I'm happy you all stayed with me until the end, and I greatly appreciate it. Forsaken certainly changed the course of the story.

Siobhan stared down at Ace of Spades. It had fallen after that eldritch creature consumed Uldren. That moment of panic had flared in her chest and all she’d thought was getting to him. Hoping it hadn’t been too late. She bent down to pick up the gun, dented and broken. Her lips thinned as she realized what that gun had done, what the wielder had done. Her eyes met Uldren’s. She realized it after listening to Riven, or that Voice of Riven. It all clicked into place.

“You. You were corrupted. That’s why you didn’t need any Darkness.” It came out like an accusation as she stepped closer to him. He sighed and she saw that his eyes were clearer. There were hints of madness in them still, but not the all consuming disease from before. “It was inside you.” She tightened her hold on Ace and felt the tears burn at her throat. “Was it worth it?”

“I did all of this for _her_.” He spat the words at her. Still clinging to his delusions. Siobhan had a feeling the queen was alive, but she was far away from their influence. She stared at him in pity. “But now, you have my undivided attention.” She winced at the attack. The barb had hit home.

Another set of footsteps echoed throughout the tower’s room. Siobhan cursed inwardly. Spider failed. “Hello Petra.” This was a reunion she wasn’t looking forward to, given how she’d gone off the grid.

“She’s not here Uldren. If she was, this would be a whole lot easier.” Petra snarled as she raised her own weapon at him. Siobhan resisted the urge to stop her, that would be giving away too much. Though Petra knew about their relationship. “And _you_. I expected better of you.”

“You think _she_ helped me?” Uldren laughed at Petra’s shocked expression. Arawn flexed his shell as Siobhan narrowed her eyes at him. The hurt rose like bile in her throat, clogging it, making it impossible to speak.

“If she did not help you, then where has she been? Do you know how many times I’ve gotten calls from the Tower asking where you are?” Petra threw the accusation at Siobhan as Arawn floated closer to her head.

“On a path to kill me. And now here we are. At the reckoning.” Uldren chuckled, a dark and broken sound. It broke her to hear it. She shifted her grip on Ace. Petra studied Siobhan and saw something that surprised her.

“You really have. All these weeks with the Spider throwing me off the trail? That was your doing wasn’t it?” Siobhan gave her a curt nod. Arawn explained the situation to Petra. “I see. I don’t agree with your methods Guardian. But I understand the reasoning behind them.” She turned to Uldren and Siobhan felt the first tear slide down her face. Petra was shocked to see it.

“Tears for me? I’m touched.” Uldren shifted to sit up, she could see the struggle and the effort it cost him. He was broken and he’d never be what she knew. The man she knew. The man she knew was gone. _Taken_. That fateful day in the battle with Oryx, it must have changed him. Or the intervening year. He’d been touched by the Dark, corrupted, gone mad. That Riven, the Ahamkara, had used it. Manipulated him into being a willing puppet. She furiously wiped at her eyes with one hand, while the other held Ace steady at his chest. She’d known something had been wrong with him, but had refused to see it that day. Her own fault. Now her best friend lost her husband, all because she didn’t want to see that he had changed.

“Tears for what you were. For what we had.” Petra looked over at Siobhan. She heard the flatness in her voice, the finality in her words. Those weeks of hunting the Scorn, she’d known this was what it would boil down to. Pity filled her chest, and sympathy. She knew what the cost would be.

“So you’re to be my Executioner are you? Guess that nickname fits then.” Siobhan tightened her grip on Ace as the barb hit her again. She fully expected to see the blood, every insult hit its mark. He’d always been excellent with them, that hadn’t changed.

“You knew it as well as I did. This wasn’t going to play out any other way.” Siobhan shifted and the anger burned in her eyes. Anger at what fate had done, thrown her into. First Emyr, that had been cruel. A Guardian taken before his time, all to make sure she escaped the Vault of Glass. Her fault. Now with Uldren. A man consumed by the Dark and his own madness. Again, her fault.

“Funny, the line between Light and Dark is so very thin. Do you know which side you’re on?” Siobhan closed her eyes against the tears. She could hear the acceptance in his voice. Why did it have to be this way? She shook her head slightly but Ace lifted until it was level with his head.

“There is no side Uldren. I live by my own convictions.” She felt her lips tremble and the probing at her mind. It wasn’t Uldren but Petra that tried to soothe the furious thoughts. His eyes closed at her answer and she hesitated. Her hand shook. Several reasons to pull the trigger flew through her mind, but in the end. She pictured Nevia’s face. Her friend’s faces. Cayde’s face. If left free, the Dark in him would try to go after them. Given the choice between one life and many, she knew what her choice would be.

The shot rang out through the chamber. It startled Petra into taking a step back. His body fell back against the floor as she fell to her knees. Ace slipped from her fingers as the first wail left her chest. Her head fell back as the band holding her misery back broke in her chest. Petra reached for her, but seemed to know it wouldn’t be welcome. She curled her fingers into a fist and let the woman grieve. Her sobs filled the room, with her Ghost floating silently by her head. Her grief was fierce and slapped at Petra as she covered her face with her hands.

She felt empty. The broken edges of her heart lay at his feet. She stood on shaky legs and tucked Ace at the small of her back. Nevia would want it. Petra stepped next to her. “Guardian,” she started but sighed. No words would heal her wounds or soothe the edges. “Let’s get you home.” She put her hand on the other woman’s back and led her out of the room.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue of sorts

Cayde was alive? He was Lightless but alive. He and Nevia were off the Tower chasing leads on the Dreaming City’s corruption. Siobhan felt the strength leave her legs in the hangar as Amanda told her. Jareth and Anna reached for her as she fell, the tears flowed down her face as the hurt burst again. All of that. Was for _nothing_. Anna’s soothing words were lost as she buried her face in her hands as she curled towards the floor. Amanda jumped at the sounds coming from Siobhan. She expected the Guardian to be happy, not sad.

Jareth scooped her up, he recognized the signs. They took her into the apartment and just let her sit on the couch. She stared blankly at the wall, until she saw Ace on the table. It sparked something in her and she threw the gun across the room in a rage. Jareth saw her ripping the cloak off her back with Arawn fluttering around her. He grabbed the cloak from her before she ripped it apart and just tucked her against his chest. Her fingers curled into his shirt as she broke again. Everything came spilling out. He ran a hand over her hair, letting her talk without interruption. She wound down and leaned back to look up at him. He saw the misery on her face, it was the same as when Emyr was gone.

“Siobhan.” She shook her head and stepped back. “Don’t spiral this time please.” She scoffed and crossed her arms over her midsection.

“I won’t. I know better this time. Arawn will just bring me back against my wishes like last time.” She turned her head petulantly as Arawn sighed. Her lips twisted into a frown as she hugged her arms closer. “I can’t listen to them. I can’t.” He knew what she meant. He’s already spoken to Ikora, and he’d gotten Anna to speak to Zavala. They both knew not to approach her about her loyalties. Siobhan had proven beyond a doubt where those were.

“Sio. Maybe you should take a break from the Tower? Until things settle. All people are going to be talking about is this.” Jareth ran a hand over his hair. He didn’t like it. He didn’t want her to be where he couldn’t keep an eye on her. After Emyr’s death, he just didn’t want to lose another friend. She was a sister to him.

“I know. I already punched one guy off the Tower for thanking me for what I did.” The chuckle was dark and laced with the misery he saw in her eyes. “Shaxx applauded.” He snorted at the image of the Crucible Master giving out scores for throwing Guardians off the Tower. Anna came into the room and went over to Siobhan. Her hands smoothed the hair back from Siobhan’s face, ever gentle.

“I agree with Jareth.” That surprised them both. “You don’t need to be here Siobhan. It won’t help you heal. All you’ll see is the what ifs or the accolades that will just make you angry.” Anna ran a hand down her back, wishing she could heal the scars on the soul as well as the ones on the skin.

“I will once Nevia and Cayde come back. I have to give them Ace back.” She didn’t want to touch the gun, didn’t want it near her anymore. Too many memories. Jareth scooped it up and had Lilith hold it in the armory until the other two were back.

\------------

Siobhan stayed holed up in her apartment while she rode out the waves of hurt. She kept the news firmly shut off. Ikora and Zavala had already come by to visit. Each had their own things to say. The broken Guardian in front of them halted anything they had planned. Instead, they both encouraged her to heal. Do what she needed to heal. She’d done enough for the Tower, given enough of her soul. It was time to be selfish for a bit. The Vanguard had left her on the couch with her hands fisted in her hair. Her life wasn’t useless or meaningless without him, but she couldn’t get his eyes out of her head. The memories rushed past her, and it bogged her down. Even her favorite movies didn’t cheer her up, and she’d given up after the third movie.

“Siobhan… Nevia and Cayde are back at the Tower.” She lifted her head and Arawn bobbed. He didn’t know what to do. “I can have Jareth give them Ace.” She shook her head.

“Have Lilith give me Ace. It needs to be me.” She spoke slowly, like she was in a fog. Arawn nodded and the hand cannon materialized in front of her. A fresh wave of hurt rolled over her at the sight of it. She reached to throw it but fought the urge. That wouldn’t solve anything. “Can you have them meet me here?”

“They’re on their way.” Arawn had also called up Jareth and Anna. Siobhan would need the support, the non judgmental support of her fireteam.

“Sio!” Nevia’s relieved cheer had her looking up as they entered her apartment. Jareth and Anna were right behind them, more hesitant than normal. Cayde paused as he saw Ace in her hand. She could see the wheels turning in his mind until it clicked.

“Siobhan.” He began but Jareth’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. Siobhan forced a smile for Nevia as she returned the greeting hug.

“What happened? You disappeared after the prison break and then Cayde was in the hospital. I had to track down all of his caches by myself.” She sent a playful glare at Cayde and Siobhan sat down on the couch wearily. “Sio?” Cayde put a hand on her shoulder.

“I’ll tell you what happened. You’re going to want to sit down for this.” She waved to the couch and chairs. Jareth and Anna stood behind Siobhan, forming a protective wall. A trickle of unease went through Nevia, just what had happened? Siobhan handed them Ace, slid it across the table.

She started from the beginning. How her connection to Uldren started, to the going dark on Mars. She left the sordid details out. Her friends, no matter how close, didn’t need to know those particular details. It loosened a band in her chest as she spoke of her memories and the relationship. Nevia and Cayde sat there silently. She’d never seen Nevia sit so still before. Anna rested her hand on Siobhan’s shoulder as she told them about tracking Uldren over the Tangled Shore. Killing the Barons and then the final confrontation. She felt the tears form again and fought them back. She couldn’t believe she still had tears left.

“And now here we are.” Arawn nestled in the crook of her neck as she fought against the grief that still threatened to overwhelm her. Cayde reached for Ace and she saw the internal conflict on his face. She wondered what he was thinking and closed her eyes as Arawn’s shell fluttered against her chin.

Cayde was going through a myriad of emotions. Most of all, guilt and sympathy. She was one of his Hunters, more like a sister than anything. She’d believed he was dead and had hunted down the man she loved. Ended his life. Nevia reached out to Siobhan, tentatively at first. There were tears on Nevia’s face too, and he realized how much this would affect her as well.

Siobhan hugged Nevia in return. Relief that she understood, that she wouldn’t turn her away. Wouldn’t turn her away for being Uldren’s lover for a time. Though they’d be separated for a bit, but it was needed. Siobhan leaned back and told them she was going to leave the Tower for an undetermined length of time.

“I need to get my mind straightened. And I still owe Spider a favor. He’s called to collect it.” She smiled wearily at her friends. It would do good to get away from the Tower, she needed to be in the Wilds.

“I understand. Keep in touch.” Cayde told her as Nevia wiped at the tears. Siobhan told them she would and watched as they left after gathering Ace together. Cayde tucked it safely out of sight, realizing that it would hold nothing but bad memories for all of them in the room. Her teammates saw her off at the hangar, and she gave Jareth one last hug.

“Keep an eye on the Gambit feeds will you?” She smiled at him. He understood what she meant and laughed.

“And who are we watching for?” Anna looked over at them in question as Siobhan felt the first real emotion besides grief since coming back to the Tower.

“Executioner.” She hopped into her ship on that cryptic note and headed off for Venus. She had one thing to do.

\---------

“Still standing? I’m glad.” She ran her hand over the stone there. Up above the sight of the Minotaurs that patrolled the lands stood a small stone memorial. Only two names carved into the stone. One worn with age, a decade of pain and memories lie with it. The other fresh, the tools on the ground as she leaned against it. She sighed as she looked over the names.

“You added his name?” Arawn glanced over at the memorial. _Emyr. Uldren Sov_. It held the dates of their deaths. She watched the sky over Venus, just letting the wind blow over her. Maybe Fate would be kind to her again one day. She closed her eyes and slept at the base of the memorial.


End file.
